Impending Graduation
In less than 24 hours, the most important event of my entire semester will be over and I won’t have to worry about it anymore. Tomorrow at 2:45 I am giving my distinction speech at my schools Liberal Arts Symposium (basically a day for everyone to present their research). If the speech goes well, I will still be in the running for distinction in Information Technology. If it doesn’t go well, then I won’t be. I’ve done tons of presentations and speeches before, and two of them have even been on this same topic, but I’m still really nervous. If I don’t get distinction, its going to be as if my taking these research classes was for no reason since I didn’t need them to graduate, I just needed to take them if I wanted to be eligible for distinction. So yeah, a lot is riding on this.
After the Symposium is done, I just have to finish my thesis paper, and work on the last couple projects for my other class that need to be completed. I only have one final, and one ‘final test’, neither of which I believe will be particularly hard. We also have one last presentation of our projects in my Innovations for Industry class, but those are always a snap. It doesn’t seem like a whole lot, but it really is quite the work load. I just can’t wait for that final to be over because it means I then have a whole week to do absolutely nothing but relax until Graduation.
Now, what I want to do AFTER graduation.. Well, that’s more of a mystery. And lately it seems like that very question is causing me more and more problems.
Sometimes I think that I should just give up and stop participating in the ‘rat race’. I could very easily go home, sit on my ass all day long, live off of the government and complain every single day about how shitty my life is. But I don’t. I fight through the problems and my emotional breakdowns so that I can keep a steady job. I work my ass off balancing work and school so that I can pay my bills. I don’t complain about how miserable I am all the time, I do something about it. But apparently this isn’t the norm, and I’m some sort of stuck-up bitch because I won’t give up. There must be some fundamental thing wrong with me because I have a job and a life and I can do the things that I want to. I’m sick of people wanting me to be ashamed about the fact that I’m happy. And with all this coming from the people who are supposed to be my ‘friends’, it really makes me want to re-evaluate how important their friendship is to me.
